Epic Family Stories Chapter 2: Why Luke Skywalker is afraid of the Vacuum

The phone rang.

"Honey, do you think you could come over and help me with something?" said my mother. She lived less than three miles from us, a very quick trip and not inconvenient.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I seem to have a little problem. I'll explain when you get here. Could you please hurry? I'm in my bedroom."

??

"Okay, be there in a minute."

I load the little ones in the car, as it is early in the day and the big ones are still at school, and make the quick trip to my mom's house. Unload the little ones, and go in to look for Mom.

"I'm in here!" shouts a muffled voice.

I open the door to her bedroom and find her sprawled on the floor in front of her dresser. The phone from the dresser is beside her. And for some strange reason, it looks like she might be using the vacuum for a pillow. It doesn't look very comfortable, actually.

"Could you get some scissors?"

???

Here's what went down: Mom was using the hose attachment on the vacuum to clean under her dresser. She leaned just a LEETLE too close to the rotating brush of the vacuum and...

ZZZZUUUPPPP!

It sucked up her hair.

The hair was burned and matted, and wrapped very tightly around the brush. Her scalp was very sore. She had the presence of mind to pull the plug to keep the vacuum from sucking in the rest of her hair, and was able to reach the phone to call me as well. But I guess it would be pretty hard to walk through the house with a vacuum attached to your head to find a pair of scissors.

She cut off the scraggly crispy hair, and her 'do was a little lopsided for a while until it grew back.

"Well, I guess that's something I won't try a second time." Wisdom from my mother.

Four-year-old Luke Skywalker learned an entirely different lesson:


Given ample opportunity, the vacuum WILL try to eat you.

He had always been afraid of it. Scampered from the room every time I turned it on. Made sure nothing he cared about was on the floor and in danger of being "disappeared" by the evil beast.

And now his worst nightmare had come true.

There was his grandma, on the floor, valiantly fighting for her life.



Fast forward nine years: Luke Skywalker is thirteen now.

And he still scampers from the room.

Let's hope there's no custodial work in his future. And that his future wife likes to vacuum.
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The Many Adventures of Chicken boy

We used to have chickens. It's a really long story involving Y2K and science fair experiments, and I can't do it justice today. Luke Skywalker loved the chickens. LOVED THE CHICKENS. I don't think you really could possibly understand yet;

HE LOVED THE CHICKENS! 

He used to get up in the morning and sneak outside to visit them. How did I know, if he was sneaking? Because I could hear him. He talked to them "baaaaawk bawk bawk." He did a mean chicken imitation. He used to put them in the wagon and take them for a ride. He would feed them oatmeal cookies. And of all wonderful possibilities, they loved him back.

So it was obvious what he should be for Halloween.

That's my chicken-boy with his favorite hen, Chickie-laka. (Don't ask me, I didn't name these creatures. The ones I named had sensible names like "Orange Chicken" and "Black Pepper Chicken")

What do you think of my fat little chicken costume? I was going for a yellow version of Foghorn Leghorn here. It had yellow dish washing gloves to go over his shoes, but those are Hot Wheels shoes, and no way are we covering those up! What could you possibly be thinking? Plus, he couldn't walk so good with giant gloves on his feet. So let's pretend that he's some kind of hybrid chicken with wheels.....still not working. Oh well.

He looked adorable. That's something he's never had a problem with, the looking adorable. And this next picture is my FAVORITE HALLOWEEN PICTURE OF ALL TIME:

I have some more animal costume photos to post for those of you who prefer "beef." Stay tuned. And tell your friends! Make us feel validated and post this on your Twitter or FaceBook if you think it's fun enough to share.

I'm craving Tootsie Rolls now for some strange reason....

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Photo of the day.

WARNING: YOU MUST BE TALLER THAN YOUR PACKFRAME TO BE A SCOUT.

It's okay. Looks like he passes. Goes from the top of his head to the back of his knees. He can still walk.
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but camping is FUN!

Luke Skywalker, here, is not the best camper.

This is a photo from camping last summer. In the summer. When it's warm. And camping includes going swimming or hiking in lava tubes.

Luke Skywalker went camping last night. In February. In Utah. ON a lake, not by a lake, ON a lake. He was cold, and had to do winter camping stuff like look for your gloves every 10 seconds because where did they go?

He came home from camping this after noon. He sat down at the computer and started playing games, and eating snacks. Here is the conversation he had with his sister:

Middle Daughter: Why are so many of your camping snacks left? Didn't you share them with the other scouts?

Luke Skywalker: I did share them. With Caleb. Everyone else was too busy shoving me in the snow where they peed.

That's all folks....
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