...worth a thousand words...

After many much waiting.... we have some wonderful photos from the reception. I have been really looking forward to these, if for no other reason, because I was under the influence of some heavy duty pain killers after blowing out my knee earlier that day. My recollection of the evening was pretty hazy, and I was sitting here with fingers crossed for the last 9 weeks.

At last they are here, and I have picked my very favorites to share with you. The old saying goes "a picture is worth a thousand words," but some of these need captions.

Enjoy.

"Touch not my dear husband, or I shall smite thee, brother mine"

TEAMWORK. (Hard to make such a wonderful cake with three and a half arms to work with)

"Ummm. Uncle Scopp, when I leaned over to hug Grandma, she ran over my dress with her wheelchair  and now I'm stuck..."

"Yeah, we all know I'm the cutest bridesmaid."

"I told you I could be trusted to not smoosh cake all over your face!"

"You did WHAT with the cardboard cutout of our missionary bridesmaid????"

The bride gets her first glance at the gift table.

Daddy - daughter, mother - son

(After dancing with her daddy)





Okay, before you look at this series, you need to know it's title.


THE GARTER CONSPIRACY

(please excuse the poor groom his confusion, as he was completely unprepared for what transpired)

Who knew? Superhero bloomers.



As I mentioned earlier, much of the evening is a blur in my memory. I'm really glad our photographer was able to make sure I didn't miss a moment of Eclair's exploits as she spend entirely too much time unsupervised:

Sleeping in on Saturday

I've discovered that if I don't blog it immediately, I forget. Lots of hysterical stuff goes on here, but my poor memory and hectic schedule often delays the posting of the hilarity to the point where I forget it.

So today, we try a different approach.


BLOG IT AS IT HAPPENS.....

Thing One is sleeping on the couch in the family room. She had trouble sleeping, and prefers the comfort of the couch to her own bed. It is 8 am on Saturday, and her slumber will not continue for much longer.

I am the first to climb up the stairs and disturb her. Just going to wander the interwebs until it's reasonable to wake the masses and make them clean the house for tonight's birthday party in honor of the Screamapillar. Just to be annonying, I have found a bag of chips and start consuming them as loudly as possible (because deep down I resent that she continues to sleep instead of cleaning the bathroom or something).


"Oh, Mom, I'm so tired - I couldn't sleep. I had a terrible night."

"S'okay. I'm not getting anyone up for a bit longer, you can sleep until then."

I have forgotten that Eclair never needs waking on the weekends. She is up at first light, without fail, no matter what time she went to bed. Mind you THIS ONLY HAPPENS ON SATURDAYS. On any given day where she is supposed to be up, it ain't gonna happen...

This is where Thing One's true nightmares begin.

Eclair comes upstairs and greets me loudly, "Good morning Mom! Can you believe I am awake already? I think it's funny that I just can't sleep anymore Are cartoons on yet OH! Karen is still sleeping I'm going to get something to eat!" She then wanders downstairs to the kitchen, finds my cell phone, and loses her train of thought completely (Oh, forgot to mention this important bit: no meds have been administered yet, which is why this story is so fun!)

Eclair starts the playback on the cell phone of the two videos I took during her concert last week. She turns the phone up to full volume and wanders in to the living room. The volume is so loud that we can still hear it clearly in the upstairs room. Eclair begins singing along, also at full volume and very off key, with the video. Each video is about nine minutes long, and the second one is accompanied by the Guatemalan Drum players from BYU. She also attempting to play the music at the same time using the piano.

Thing One pulls the blanket over her head.

"Mom, are you going to get the videos off the phone today? (there had been a problem where the sound mercifully did not transfer with the video when I initially transferred them to the computer) I'll bet grandpa could fix it so they could work Can I call Grandpa? I bet he's still sleeping because he is old and he needs to sleep I want to post them to my facebook  Did I tell you that already I think I did You already knew that I'm so silly I forgot But I told my friends at school that I was going to put them on my facebook and they are waiting Do you think we can do that today? because I told my friends I would They would like to see them I think I should probably tag my self when we put them on Do you think that Joey can fix them Nevermind I think he will be sleeping and maybe playing video games because he does that all the time Or maybe grandpa can fix it because grandpa can fix anything When is he coming over again Or maybe we can just call him on the phone and he can tell us how to fix them and the sound will work I can just keep watching them on your phone until we can fix them but I think the battery is going to die soon Do you know where the charger is because I can charge your phone for you Aren't you going to make bacon this morning?"


Thing One pulls the pillow over her head.

"Oh you got Tampico I love Tampico Thank you mom for getting Tampico it is my favorite and I love it when you get it I better get some before everyone else gets up and there isn't any left Do you know where my favortie cup with the straw is?" She begins singing "For he's a jolly good fellow" using lyrics she has made up herself. Did you know that Jello rhymes with fellow? Eclair does.

**interrupted by the ringing of the phone**

I answer the call, explain to Screamapillar's YW leader that yes, she is planning on going to the meeting this morning, and I will make sure she is awake when her ride arrives in 15 minutes - I go downstairs, remind Screamapillar. She is mostly awake already, and was about to get up anyway.

I return upstairs, where Elcair is still wandering around, purposeless. She returns to the kitchen.

"Mom, aren't you glad that I found the cordless phone so you don't have to come downstairs to answer it I thought it was a good idea and it is because its easier because it hurts your knees to go up and down the stairs so much Don't you like that I did that? Did you see this that I made It's a football because I drew it on a paper and made this (goalposts made from a play family fence and pipe cleaners) you can play with it if you want I didn't make it for you but if you like it you can use it Fifteen plus fifteen is.........I don't know Mom what's fifteen plus fifteen Nevermind I think I figured it out When are you going to get off the computer I would like to look at my facebook Did you send me a nail yet? I need a nail and a brick to finish my Nursery on my farm Can you log on as me and check on my strawberries when you are done with that typing What are you playing Oh you're doing the blog Am I on it Please tell about me Because I love the blog When are you going to make bacon I think I can do it Do  you want me to try I think I can do it because I am very good at cooking except sometimes I burn things I am so hungry What's for breakfast Are we having stewed monkey heads Because you always say we are having stewed monkey heads but I don't think you have ever really made them have you?"

Ecliar begins singing "Going to Boston"

**horn starts honking outside, Screamapillar's ride is here**

Groaning noises begin from under Thing One's pillow.

The sound of Guatemalan Drums starts up from the cell phone video again...

A rumpled pajamaed Luke Skywalker wanders into the kitchen, says "You said there would be bacon." He scowls, and goes back to his room again, stomping as he goes.

Eclair starts singing "On top of spaghetti" again using original lyrics.

"THE CHATTER!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" She gathers up her blankets and pillow and stomps down the stairs to her room.

I'm going to give her ten minutes and then I'm going to go in to her room and start singing some show tunes, I think...right after I give Eclair her meds.

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In the middle of the night....

....weird things start to happen. People say stuff that you would NEVER expect to hear, say, at four in the afternoon.

Today I applied fresh caulking to the big picture window behind the window seat in the dining room. When Thing One came home from choir practice and sat in said window seat, I reminded her, "be careful, there's wet silicone seal behind you. Don't mess it up."

To which she replied, "It's a good thing you said that, 'cause I was just about to lick it."

Ew.

And a few minutes later, Muffin-cat was found stalking on the dining room table, apparently munching on something. Hubby picked her up and unceremoniously dumped her on the floor, thinking she was eating something left behind by a lazy child.

Instead, he exclaims "WHAT are you eating the BAND-AIDS for?!?"

Ew again.

To top it all off, Thing One complained on her Face Book status about getting braces on today. She said "Braces are weird and annonying." And her friend posted a video in reply, saying "So is this."

And then we all watched in horror with the occasional hysterical giggle. I had seen it before, and I think it is so weird that I can only recommend that EVERYONE see it at least once:

Somebody seriously has too much time on their hands.

Spiders?

 Ew a lot.

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Hoppy Brid-day!

Once upon a time I had the cutest baby in the world. We named her Thing One.

See? Cutest baby in the world.

Then one day she freaking grew up overnight when I wasn't looking.

It just isn't fair.

Happy Birthday, little one.

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My evil kids....

My kid are evil. Don't know if I mentioned that before, but thought I had better tell you before you find out on your own.

Tonite, Hubby and I took Eclair and Luke Skywalker to a Ward Campout. I got to judge the "talent" show, and we got to visit and have a good time. We had no intention of staying the night, though. I value my sleep a little too much at the present moment.

Screamapillar was gone to a sweet 16 party for her friend, and Thing Two was out with a friend doing back-breaking labor for hire. Thing One? Well, she's had kinda a bad week, so we left her to her own devices. We figured she'd go out with Boyfriend and have a good time.

When we came home from our activity at 10 pm, we found this note, stuck with duct tape to the front door:

The really sad part is that Hubby only read the red letters. Then his brain went into some kinda overload and he just stood there in shock fer a minute or two......

Evil.

Every stinkin' one of them.

Especially Thing One.

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MUWAHAHAHAA.....

Okay, I can't wait any longer. I'm so  excited about October! Halloween is my absolute favoritest holiday ever. I go all out. More so than even Christmas, which is kinda sad. I've been setting up a blog post for EVERY DAY next month, and I'm changing the header early because I'm so excited.

There will be lots of craft ideas, costumes and recipes, and  just general fun. Hope you'll join us, because I think Thing One might finally be rejoining us as a contributor to the blog.

By the way, Tomorrow is Thing One's birthday, and in her honor I'm posting a BEAUTIFUL picture of her. One where she dressed up and was prepared to have her photo taken. On purpose. This is, of course, a change from my usual habit of posting embarrassing photos of my poor offspring. In fact, I believe the primary function of this blog is to make them regret I am their mother......SO here is my Lovely Flattering Picture of My Beautiful Firstborn Who is Turning 21 and Can Now Buy Beer But She Won't Because She is a Good Girl:

LOVE YOU SWEETIE! Now, if there are any eligible young men out there who read this blog (or if you KNOW an eligible young man and want to help me out here...) YES! She's available! We'd love to marry her off because the Screamapillar and Eclair are tired of sharing a room.

Yes, I'm done embarrassing you now, dear. Unless you want me to tell about that time when you were 2 and you....OUCH! QUIT BEATING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR LAPTOP! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S STILL UNDER WARRANTY, YOU MIGHT DAMAGE ME! WHAT? YOUR INTENT IS TO DAMAGE ME? WELL TOO LATE!!!!!! I'M CLICKING "PUBLISH POST" NOW AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO STOP ME! MWAHHAHAHAHA!
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