Top Ten (or twenty) signs that your kid may have PDDNOS.

So if you know me personally, you likely know all about Eclair. Part of why she is so much fun is her lovely "disability," Pervasive Developmental Delay. Most days it just means that she's a bit behind other kids, struggles socially, and has to work a lot harder at school. It's pretty easy to spot if you try to have a conversation with her, she won't say anything you might expect from a child her physical age.

The last week has been kinda harrowing. Long story short, we changed doctors, the new doctor had to leave town suddenly for a family emergency, and we had a lapse in medication.

We haven't been without meds for about four years now, and I think we forgot how to cope.

(I don't want to get into a discussion about meds here, she's my kid and it's my decision, suffice it to say that this is what her parents have decided she needs and no nasty comments about it, please.)

Without pharmaceutical assistance, Eclair is.....challenging. I have literally been tearing my hair out, readjusting to having my nine-year-old daughter behave like a four-year-old. Thank goodness school is out and there's no real reason for her to have to concentrate on anything more complex than eating a sandwich.

Crazy things have been going on. Today I asked Thing One to help me compile a top ten. Here is the transcript of our Gmail chat this morning as we discussed the happenings:


me: Hola.


k: Yesh?


me: wen you have a sec to think about it, please give me three or more examples of Eclair insanity from the past week - new top ten for the blog?
 
k: Okay, I will brainstorm.


It took her precisely 45 seconds to chat back the first of our Top Ten (or twenty). For your entertainment (and so you can be thankful you are not me) here is the top ten (or twenty) list of insane things Eclair did this week in her drug-free state.:

1. k:  I caught her licking her hands and wiping them on the windows on Saturday when you went into hobby lobby.


2. And then there was the whole thing with the Chair yesterday.


3. She's been watching the same two episodes of Jimmy Neutron non-stop for three days.


4. And I was awakened by her screaming yesterday, and when I yelled at her to be quiet she pretended she wasnt there.


me: it's kind of scary how fast you came up with those. what thing with the chair?


k: 2a. Where the chair wouldnt stop squeaking and you told her to stop and she just didnt understand that first, she was breaking the chair, and second, it was making you nuts.
 
A little later I received the following text message:

5. Just remembered another one: She was dropping food off the balcony to the dog yesterday. Can't remember what.

Screamapillar had this to add:

6. "Mom, she spent most of the day today naked. And Jacob had his friends over. I can't do this anymore."

I was ranting to my dear Hubby after hours of dealing with our angel child, and Thing One quoted me on her Facebook status:

7. "...And I've got little miss merry sunshine running around screaming her head off with her underwear on sideways..." Sometimes my mother just says the most amazing things....




8. This morning I found this on the kitchen counter:

In case you are wondering, this is a shoe box. Which contains a glass jewelry box. Filled with mud and a handfull of pulled up grass.

And two slugs, a snail, and an earthworm.

Why? I have no idea.

8a: this statement when I asked her about the snail: "Apparently, he somehow got all salty and died. Poor Snailey." Eclair has learned that snails have a low tolerance for salt.

9. We went to a wedding for a friend and she spent about an hour trying to build something out of toothpicks and ice cream (when she wasn't rehearsing the "Helen Keller" breakfast scene at the dessert table). Then she made me take a picture of it: 

 10. We went to the hated Wal Marts for some stupid reason, and she spent the entire time running in circles around me humming, singing and yelling the theme song from "Indiana Jones." Why yes, you're right. It doesn't have any words.

11. She tried to dress the dog in some of the clothes from her "too small" pile.

12. She took a fast-food soft drink outta the trash can in the kitchen. I had only melted ice water in it, and had  only been there a few minutes, and she drank it. Then she came and asked me if it would make her sick (act first, ask questions later being her personal theme song). I told her yes, she was probably going to die, and don't eat things out of the trash can. Later when she was saying her prayers, she asked her daddy if Jesus could heal poison because mommy said she was going to die. 

13. She dug a pit the size of a Volkswagen in the sandbox in the backyard. I believe that most of that sand is currently in the bottom of my bathtub.

14. She became hysterical at least a hundred times over many scenarios including brushing her hair, putting her underwear on correctly, and putting away the mayonnaise.

15. Answering the phone today when one of her friends called she said: "Yo. Andrea. Wassup?"

16. She tried to setup the slip 'n slide during a pouring rainstorm last weekend.

17. See previous blog post.

18. She was ranting and raving her outrage that her calendar was messed up. It showed the first day of Summer is not until June 21, when everyone knows that school was over last Friday!

19. Took my largest stainless steel mixing bowl and applied a "hammered" finish to it. It now has a dimpled surface much resembling a golf ball.

20. Emptied the dishwasher as asked. Except she put EVERYTHING in the plasticware cupboard.

By the time I went to bed last night, I knew I couldn't take another day. I called the doctor's office and demanded they help me. "She was grooming the cat! GROOMING the cat! And NOT with a brush!"

My prescription was ready 15 minutes later.

.