Saturday, December 31, 2016

Happy New Year 2016!
Only a few hours left, so it must be time for..... (insert drumroll here.....).....
the Annual Epistle of Exaggeration and Outright Falsehood!

We'll start out by mentioning that a certain computer is holding all my photos from 2016 hostage, so all we have access to are photos from my PHONE!!


but they are the best i can get to right now.

ASlso it should be reported that I am kinda delirious and recovering from the flu and I'm not thingking all that straight. So who cares, here it is. 

In January Luke Skywalker had his wisdom teeth out. Not that he has been removed of all wisdom. He still has a little. Also, we visited the Open House at the Provo City Center Temple. And according to the calendar, there was Nuclear Testing on the 12th. Also according to the calendar, some people went to an assortment of boring doctor appointments and Eclair had lunch one day at Wendy's. What a wild life we lead.

In February, looking at the calendar again because my memory fails me, more very exciting things happened. There was a High Priest dinner where I had to bring a crock pot dish, for example. And some more doctor appointments. And Cub Scouts. Also, more Nuclear Testing on the 8th (Dear. dear Hot Latin Guy tries to spice up my dull calendar). And Eclair sold some cupcakes. 

Now MARCH was so much more exciting!! Luke Skywalker had a job interview (didn't get the job). And Eclair went to Wendy's again! AND WE HAD THE BIG SEASON FINALE OF DOWNTON accompanied by an amazing Downton Dinner Party. EVERYONE came, even Grandma & Grandpa. We served Bubble & Squeak, and roast beef and asparagus and I made a Trifle.

I love trifle.

Also Eclair won a scholarship to Teen Author Boot Camp, which she hated so very much that she's been working on her scholarship application for next year for a month now.

 In April, we went to Grandma's and did yardwork!!! It was very exciting. Also, we finally had Jacob's Eagle court. SO PROUD OF THIS KID!!! So many people came to support him, and the refreshments were delicious.

Also, Jacob went to Prom. With a girl. They were both adorable. 

In May, things got really Dull. Luke Skywalker graduated high school, I'm not sure how he managed it. The previous two kids graduated by the skin of their teeth, but it was easy for this kid. Probably because he's not a idiot. Not that the other two were idiots, just that they were.

Since he needed to be rewarded for good behavior and a job well done, we went to visit Screamapillar and Han Solo in Washington. We ate amazing food and saw amazing things.

I was impressed with what a SANITARY city Seattle is. Not.

June was pretty eventful. We went to some wedding receptions and went to a city council meeting. Woo. Hoo. 

July was hot. Very hot. But it usually is, so we were unsurprised. I turned 29! Again. I have done it so many times now that we ran (Ha! barely walked....) a 5K for my birthday. 

August was a month of eating amazing food. We made a trip to New Mexico for Aunt Beth's funeral for Thing Two's birthday (delightful, actually). We had a great time and ate great food with Thing Two and his Lovely Wife. They took us to see amazing things at Moki Dugway and Capitol Reef on the way home. 

More weddings, and Hubby had his epic birthday too. We had a joint bday party and lots of great friends came and ate food with us.

September was exciting. Our car blew up on the freeway so we got a new one!!! Kind of, actually, because the old one is still parked on the side of the house. So we got a new one, but still need to get rid of the old one. Hubby and I went on a trip to Ohio where we had a great time attending a church history conference. Found another great place to eat while we were there.

 This is the lovely view from our room. I'll bet you're envious.

View from the conference was slightly better.

October we took another trip, this time to Arizona to visit our wonderful Gandma Penny.

It was a happy/sad visit, grandma was in the hospital the whole time we were there, but the weather was beautiful and we got to spend some great times with all our family.

November picked up, but it didn't have a happy ending. Con-man turned two, 

Thing One, Thing Two and Lovely Wife made a trip down to see Grandma in Phoenix. Shortly after their visit, we lost our Grandma and she went to be with grandpa in heaven. Everyone was able to come home for Thanksgiving and then travel together to the funeral in New Mexico. 

December started off lousy when we lost my dear friend Aubrey. 

She leaves 8 kids and a great husband bereft, and losing her two weeks after my mother-in-law kind of squelched the holidays this year. 

But we'll find our smiles again, and recover. And we'll be back next year (or sooner if computers cooperate) with more from the Insane Roper Family!

Thursday, December 31, 2015

The Annual Epistle of Exaggeration and Outright Falsehood 2015

Another year has come and gone. They keep doing that, and each one is going faster than the last. 2015 was wonderful for the Insane Roper Family.

2015 was a year full of big things. We start of with the Con-man. He did lots of growing and wrapped every member of this family around his little finger. He is the most adorable baby in the history of babies (I say that with complete and total objectivity, it's just a fact). I mean, seriously. When have you seen a cuter baby?

Other babies joined him in 2015, 2nd cousins Addled and Doc Brown joined the family in 2015. While both these cousins are cute and adorable, Con-man is far and away the winner for Most Adorable Baby of All Time.

Eclair is still plugging away with her entrepreneurial endeavors. Claire's Sweet's Wagon received a number of custom orders this year as the word continues to spread about her wonderful treats. She got her boat driving permit issued by Awesome Grandpa, and also water-skiied for the first time. She went to Girl's Camp once again, joined by Screamapillar, who attended as a leader to help out with Eclair. They had a lovely time together. I was disappointed that another year of Girl's Camp passed without any of my offspring catching a Snipe.

Luke Skywalker has had a banner year - Not only is he PASSING all his classes with good grades, he was extended a job offer in his field of choice - VIDEO GAMING!!!! He gets to restock video games every time he goes to work! He also got his learner's permit (finally), but as of this date (5 weeks after getting said permit) he has yet to actually drive the car. Best of all, after many years of hardly any effort and 18 month of intense work, Jacob earned his Eagle! His project was completed in August, his board of review and approval was completed in November, and he will have his Eagle Court in January.

Thing Two and his Lovely Wife have been working hard at many jobs. Thing Two's current job has been explained to me multiple times but I still don't quite understand what he does. He's just working whenever he's not in school and flying when he is. He has started the Aviation program at UVU and is working hard at something he thinks he will love. They have added a few little ones to their family, but since none of them are human, I can't get too excited about it.  Lovely wife is also plugging away and working in her chosen field of Social Work. She is adorable, we are thankful for them both!

Thing One and Mr. Darcy are valiantly striving to survive parenthood. The small tornado that lives with them is teaching them so much! They are doing a pretty great job of it, by the way. They moved to a new 2nd floor apartment just so they can carry their stuff up stairs since they don't have time to go the gym. It keeps them in shape. Thing One is still single handedly running her place of business and Mr. Darcy is looking for something better than the last job. I'll let you know what he finds. They are doing wonderful things and are great parents (mostly because they let me babysit so much, they are so wise...).

Luckily, all four of these alleged adults get along very well and like to do fun stuff like getting wet and windblown together.

Screamapillar finally found her Han Solo. Someone to feed her before she realizes she's hangry, to put up with her tantrums and mood swings, wait I'm gonna stop because if he reads this, we might be in trouble, we don't want the honeymoon to be over this soon...... So, last year's boyfriend got upgraded to fiancee, and then husband. He is a wonderful addition to the family, and after Bridezilla/Screamapillar's fantastic wedding last August, they moved their new family to Washington because they hate us. Well, we don't hate them and they better come visit VERY OFTEN.

2015 was a fantastic year with lots of blessings and lots of fun. We hope that it was for you also! May the Lord bless and keep you all, and join us again soon for the next edition of the AEOEAOF! See you next year!!!!

With love,

The Insane Roper/Sims/Spencer Family

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Annual Epistle of Exaggeration and Outright Falsehood

Although many of you feared me dead, I have returned per tradition to pen my annual letter on New Year's Eve.

Welcome to our very exciting and wonderful lives! This year there were MANY changes and improvements!

Eclair continues her entrepreneurial endeavors with "Claire's Sweet's Wagon" and made millions of pennies this year. She has gained a reputation as quite the chef and doesn't use vinegar instead of oil in her cake recipes anymore. She starred as "Pinkie Pie" at Salt Lake Comic Con and hobnobbed with many celebrities. Successful year for Eclair.

Luke Skywalker continues to excel in game development. He has developed about a foot taller and with a much deeper voice as he spends hour after hour creating new game ideas in his head. He does a LOT of research and hopes to release a game someday and make as much as his little sister. He became a mechanic this year and his mother relies on him for everything auto. He is particularly skilled at starting the car and scraping off the ice in sub-zero temperatures so his lazy mother can spend five more minutes in bed.

Screamapillar is movin' on up. She has her own home now, not too far away. She excels at university in "Squeaking into Class Before the Bell" and "Excessive Sleeping." She has a boyfriend who is a complete deadbeat (seriously, we are so ashamed: he is graduating BYU in April with excellent grades and going to med school in the fall.... where did we go wrong?) She has landed a new job, where she stars as a Very Important Celebrity. So important, that she cannot reveal who she is. I do have a photo I will share though: 

Thing Two and his Lovely Wife continue well. They are making MILLIONS (of phone calls, emails and quality control chats) at their current place of employment. They are also excelling at school, which in Thing Two's case is frankly a miracle. Thank heaven for Lovely Wife. They are extraordinarily happy, and we are loving having another daughter.

Thing One..... well I'm not sure what to say. She had some issues this year..... she put on a little weight. Well, not a little, actually, but a lot.....

We were really at a loss as to what do do. Her husband kept confiscating the chocolate and the french fries and the ice cream and the fry sauce and the quarter pound burgers and the pork barbacoa burritos and the See's Candies, and the Sonic shakes, and the JDawgs, and the.... well, you get the picture. Well, he got her whipped into shape. AND THEN!!!!!!!!

Then there was a baby!!!!!!

A beautiful wonderful baby. So Thing One and Mr. Darcy get to be parents now. And Hubby and I get to be grandparents. It's a pretty awesome and wonderful thing. 

Hubby and I are happy. Very very happy. Our kids are annoying and awful from time to time, but anticipating more grandchildren changes the big picture just enough that we might just let them all live another year.

Hope 2014 was wonderful for you also! May the Lord bless you and may 2015 be filled with love and happiness.

With love,

The Insane Roper (and Sims) Family.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Conversations with.... my cat

It's been weeks (weeks, that added together add up to months, but we're gonna say weeks so it doesn't sound like so long) since I stopped working in any kind of regular fashion. Weeks, I say.

I had a long list of "stuff I'm going to finally get done" that hasn't gotten done.

Instead stuff like this happens:

I just caught myself having a conversation with the cat.

I'm waiting up of Screamapillar to come home, nearly midnight. Hubby is discovering facebook, Thing One and Mr. Darcy (who are temporarily residing in my basement) have turned in for the night, Eclair and Luke Skywalker are allegedly asleep as well.

So, for lack of a suitable alternative, I'm having a conversation with the cat.

Cat: Feed me.

Me: Well, hello! where have you been all day?

Cat: Feed me.

Me. I suppose you are wanting some dinner?

Cat: Feed me.

Me: Let's go see what we can find!
(dry food bag is empty. canned food the only option.)

Cat: Feeeed me.

Me: I'm working on it! (cat tries to trip me going down the stairs)

Cat: Feeeeeeeeed me.

Me: Let's see - how about the green label?

Cat: Feed. Me.

Me: Gimme a sec (cat is wrapped around my ankles, making any step treacherous)

Cat: Feed me.

Me: Okay! Okay! (scooping cat food into fancy cut glass dish that is way to nice for a cat to be eating out of)

Cat: FEED. ME.

Me: You know that all this is is the mushed up stuff that no one else would eat, so they made cat food out of it just for you.

Cat: *contemptuous glare*

I'm not waiting around for a "thank you."

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


Once upon a time, I got a great job with the most incredible people....

We had so much fun at work...

Some of the wonderful people moved on, and other fantastic people joined us...

Without fail, these people really stood by me when I needed them most....

Then one day, it was my turn to move on,
and it nearly breaks my heart to leave them.

I can only do it because there are some
   not-so-little-anymore people who need me more....

I'm going to miss my wonderful work family, more than I can say.

It's an incredible leap of faith to leave a job in this economy, but we will trust in the Lord that this is the right path for our family at this time. We'll be broke, but happy, and find more success in other aspects of our lives.

And we WILL do lunch, ladies...

Monday, December 30, 2013

The Annual Epistle of Exaggeration and Outright Falsehood

I printed the Christmas cards again. They are actually in envelopes. Sans stamps, though, let's hope I get them out before Valentine's day...

This year, another TOP TEN: Awesome things that happened in 2013.

10. Thing One became a grandmother! How is this possible? Well, she had three cats and procrastinated getting them fixed. The male went out with a bang: two days after he got fixed, Thing One and Hot Latin Guy discovered that one of the females was preggers. She gave birth to four kittens, and then someone left a stray kitten on the doorstep. Eight Cats. Thing One has moved from "cat lady" to "complete lunatic." She continues to toil at Best Buy, where she has entirely too much access to awesome discounts on electronics.

9. Hot Latin Guy was hired as a Josh Groban body double. Or he could have been, If I hadn't made him cut his hair. He continues to toil at the software company (and did get a legitimate promotion, actually). He still denies me grandchildren. His mother and I continue to sigh loudly whenever the word "grandchildren" is used, but we haven't made much headway. We will continue the guilt trip in hopes of future success.

8. Screamapillar had a busy senior year. She graduated with high honors (being on the risers singing with the choir at graduation did elevate her slightly above some of the class, right?). She did get an actual lead in the school play, without having to break anyone's leg, and she did a lovely job. After graduation she was flooded with job offers: snow cone shack in East Bay, followed by snow cone shack in north Orem, and when snow cone season ended she went to work for McDonalds and developed a truly passionate hatred for fast food. The next job was with an essential oils company, but the high pay was just too much. She quit and has now accepted a position closer to home serving..... fast food.

7. The highlight of Luke Skywalker's year was his appearance as a character at the first SLC Comic Con. No one asked him to dress up, but he did, and he looked awesome. He also managed to rent himself out for actual pay in costume for a kid's party. Someone actually paid him to dress as Link and swordfight with a bunch of kids. This could become a  career he could enjoy... He continues at PHS having fun making movies and trouble.

6. The little one. Eclair. She for some reason thinks that she is not a baby anymore and decided to leave me. I suppose it was okay because it was only for a week. And it was only camp. So I think I'll survive. She started middle school, and has landed the magnificent role of "townsperson" in the upcoming performance of "Cinderella." She volunteered her mother to do costumes, again.

5. I lost 20 lbs!!! And then I gained eight of it back again. For details on this you'll need to read THIS POST. I spent the spring recovering, summer walking laps with Thing One at the new rec center, and fall planning The Big Event. I plan to spend winter eating chocolate and blogging.

4. Hubby has become a world famous blogger in his own right. Really. You should check it out:  He misses his doggie terribly, and won't even consider a new one yet. Work has been stressful this year, I think the garden has been his sanctuary. We got his secondary sanctuary finished in time for winter when he had to come inside out of the cold when we finally finished the next item on the list.

3. WE FINISHED THE REMODEL!!!! Really, truly, finished. Except for baseboards and molding. And a hall closet door. And shelving. And closet doors in Eclair's room. And curtains in Eclair's room. And the toilet we put in the new bathroom is leaking. And the ceilings haven't been painted yet. And we need a new light fixture in the hallway. And.... I guess we're not done yet. But Hubby has a new reading nook in the family room that he LOVES. And Eclair has her own room with an actual door, and a carpeted and fully lit play room under the stairs. And there are two fully functional showers to choose from. We'll finish eventually.

2. We had two awesome family reunions this year. Discovered new family in May, and got together with the same-old siblings and offspring for summer fun. There were lots of watersports and ammuntion. Fun was had by all.

1. BEST AND MOST WONDERFULLEST OF ALL - THING TWO GOT MARRIAGED!!! Finally making the plunge and becoming a full-fledged adult with an apartment they both hate and can't wait to move out of when the lease is up in April. (now that the wedding stuff is over...) We are so very happy!!!!!

We had a very fun and exciting year. We are so blessed in so many ways, and are thankful for all our friends and family (and new family) that enrich our lives. We hope you all had a wonderful year also, may the Lord continue to bless us all in the coming year.

With love, THe InSane RopEr FamIly.