Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Annual Epistle of Exaggeration and Outright Falsehood

Although many of you feared me dead, I have returned per tradition to pen my annual letter on New Year's Eve.

Welcome to our very exciting and wonderful lives! This year there were MANY changes and improvements!

Eclair continues her entrepreneurial endeavors with "Claire's Sweet's Wagon" and made millions of pennies this year. She has gained a reputation as quite the chef and doesn't use vinegar instead of oil in her cake recipes anymore. She starred as "Pinkie Pie" at Salt Lake Comic Con and hobnobbed with many celebrities. Successful year for Eclair.

Luke Skywalker continues to excel in game development. He has developed about a foot taller and with a much deeper voice as he spends hour after hour creating new game ideas in his head. He does a LOT of research and hopes to release a game someday and make as much as his little sister. He became a mechanic this year and his mother relies on him for everything auto. He is particularly skilled at starting the car and scraping off the ice in sub-zero temperatures so his lazy mother can spend five more minutes in bed.

Screamapillar is movin' on up. She has her own home now, not too far away. She excels at university in "Squeaking into Class Before the Bell" and "Excessive Sleeping." She has a boyfriend who is a complete deadbeat (seriously, we are so ashamed: he is graduating BYU in April with excellent grades and going to med school in the fall.... where did we go wrong?) She has landed a new job, where she stars as a Very Important Celebrity. So important, that she cannot reveal who she is. I do have a photo I will share though: 

Thing Two and his Lovely Wife continue well. They are making MILLIONS (of phone calls, emails and quality control chats) at their current place of employment. They are also excelling at school, which in Thing Two's case is frankly a miracle. Thank heaven for Lovely Wife. They are extraordinarily happy, and we are loving having another daughter.

Thing One..... well I'm not sure what to say. She had some issues this year..... she put on a little weight. Well, not a little, actually, but a lot.....

We were really at a loss as to what do do. Her husband kept confiscating the chocolate and the french fries and the ice cream and the fry sauce and the quarter pound burgers and the pork barbacoa burritos and the See's Candies, and the Sonic shakes, and the JDawgs, and the.... well, you get the picture. Well, he got her whipped into shape. AND THEN!!!!!!!!

Then there was a baby!!!!!!

A beautiful wonderful baby. So Thing One and Mr. Darcy get to be parents now. And Hubby and I get to be grandparents. It's a pretty awesome and wonderful thing. 

Hubby and I are happy. Very very happy. Our kids are annoying and awful from time to time, but anticipating more grandchildren changes the big picture just enough that we might just let them all live another year.

Hope 2014 was wonderful for you also! May the Lord bless you and may 2015 be filled with love and happiness.

With love,

The Insane Roper (and Sims) Family.