Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The $26 Prom Dress, Part One

(Warning: This is a two part post. It would have just been too painfully long if I hadn't broken it up because I'm the queen of the run-on sentence and unable shut myself up most of the time.)

I'm a notrious tightwad. And grils are expensive. Especially if they have to go to Prom. With all shoes and jewelry, and flowers and the hair and the big giant all adds up. Grils are expensive on a regular day, but add Prom to the mix and you'll wish you had more sons.

Thing One was easy on me. She was shy and reclusive, and didn't go to Prom until her senior year. And we got lucky with the dress, she inherited her cousin's amazing pageant gown.

It can be awkward when your brother's best friend (a sophmore)
asks you (a senior) to Prom. But it can be fun, too.

When Thing Two went to prom, it was equally easy, because he is, of course, a boy. An all a boy needs for prom is a date (and hairy legs). My boy is the one in red, in case you forgot.

Manly men with hairy legs. And dates.

The Screamapillar is not easy. Ever. She is difficult on a good day. And picky.

And even though she just turned 16 (the magical dating age in the LDS faith) just a few weeks before the prom, she got asked by (almost) three boys. (And in case you didn't know, asking anyone to a dance in Utah is a major event, often involving Herculean tasks.)

Oh, it was wonderous, watching her discomfort! Boy One made suble inquiries via text messages to a variety of parties to ensure that 1.) she hadn't already been asked and 2.) If he asked, she wouldn't turn him down, crushing his frail and fragile heart. Friday night he taped giant orange paper fish all over our front door and dropped off a GIANT fishbowl with three little fishes. Attached was this note:

"If wishes were fishes
And I had three
I wish you'd go
to the Prom with me"

And he signed his name.

Screamapillar was elated. Now she had to figure out a way to answer, just as creatively. Saturday rolled around, and we were excessively busy with a conference and a bunch of other stuff, and she was trying to figure out a way to answer still, when another package arrived at the door. A giant plastic bowl filled with Swedish Fish and gummy sharks. Attached was this note:

"If wishes were fishes
And I had three
I wish you'd go
to the Prom with me"

Screamapillar was confused. I told her maybe her boy was going to ask until she answered, or maybe had three things planned, or something! She better get on the ball and put the poor boy out of his misery! And then she found it. The note.

Not from Boy One, from Boy Two.

So of course she consulted the Oracle (aka Facebook). She logged on, only to discover that Boy Three was making suble inquiries (as Boy Two failed to do) as to whether Screamapillar had been asked yet. She luckily nipped this one in the bud, and Boy Three made other plans.

But what to do with Boy Two? Boy One was expecting a yes. He was a senior, and a good friend she was comfortable going with. But Boy Two was a friend also! It was decided that she was definitely going with Boy One, but needed to take Boy Two his Swedish Fish back so he could ask someone else with his exceedingly original verse. Screamapillar squirmed all the way there. She thought she was gonna die. But she didn't. She was brave and awkward.

Then we went and delivered a "YES" to Boy One, and if I tell you what happened with that event, she will probably never speak to me again. But it was really funny and involved falling flat on her face while trying to run away after ringing his doorbell....this is why everyone loves her so.

She spent the next two weeks trying on dresses. Here are my suggestions, the ones from my enormous costume collection that I thought we might get more mileage out of. Assisting with the modeling today are Wren and some nerdy girl who keeps showing up at our house:

purple ugly dress, pink nightgown dress, green with extra wrinkles

Hey! I like the green one, the one with extra wrinkles. The pink one looks like a nightgown. And the purple, just eek.

How about we try some HOT PINK!
red with giant puffy sleeve, hot pink sheath, hot pink with giant puffy sleeves
Because the Screamapillar HATES pink. So of course I made her put it on. I can't imagine why she didn't like any of these...they all have such BIG sleeves!

How about something....softer?

blue vintage Cinderella, pink funky dress, red funky dress
Well, it was worth a try I suppose. What else is there that you could try on?

Coffee vintage dress, lavender horrible dress, ivory vintage with extra sequins!
Two exceptional vintage gowns, and that HORRIBLE lavender thing my
horrible sister made me wear to her wedding in 1993.
It should be burned. Burned, I say.

What about these? These are nice!?!

navy blue bridesmaid, my prom dress, lovely purple vintage
 On the left. A bridesmaids dress for a 12 year old. The waist is entirely in the wrong place. On the right (the one with a telescope sticking out of it?) another fantastic vintage gown. Oh, look! That one in the middle is PERFECT. And not because it was my prom dress.....right?

Now I need your votes!! Comment below which dress the Screamapillar should have to wear to PROM!!! (well, actually not wear, because it was last weekend, and she wore the $26 dress that is yet to be revealed. But if she had to wear one of these, which should it be?)


Britny and Jeffers said...


Amanda said...

The hot pink sheath is the winner for sure!

Michelle said...

Purple vintage dress!!!

Mush said...

I think I would have to go with the vintage blue Cinderella one if I HAD to choose.

SwitchIt said...

Purple. Anything Purple is FAB.

Rebecca said...

Your old prom dress!

Brittanie said...

I LOVE the coffee vintage dress. SO cute. p.s. your humor is fantastic :)

Helen Anderson said...

Awesome post.