Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Punkin' Day Three -- Leftovers. A Top Ten, of sorts.

Let's say that you halved Lou's Punkin' Cookie recipe and you had half a can of pumpkin left over. What to do, what to do, with that extra puree?

Well, just because I love you and it was the middle of the night when I have been
 known to do strange things, I have executed some experiments on your behalf.
Here's what to do, and what NOT to do, with pumpkin puree:


1
 Substitute for WINDOW CLEANER: Wipe on mirror, wipe off. Result? What a mess.
Took a considerable amount of time to remove from glass.
Had to use real window cleaner to remove the resulting film.
 I'd have to call that a FAIL.


AIR FRESHENER: Leave open can on counter. Result? Cats fled the room.
Unexpected SUCCESS:
I have discovered Anti-Catnip. Can I patent this stuff?


3
 SCOURING CLEANER: Wipe on, scrub. Result?
Equally effective as asking Thing Two to wash pans. FAIL

4
 ICE CREAM TOPPING:  CRINGE. Eeew. Scraped it off and ate the ice cream anyway
(the only vegetable that should be added to ice cream is chocolate.
 Chocolate comes from beans, okay? So it's a VEG!).  FAIL.


5
 GENERAL MAYHEM: Using a large spoon, fling a large dallop of pumpkin puree
 on your evil neighbor's somebody's windshield. Result? Don't know yet.
 Help me out here and make your own observation...


6
 DOG FOOD: Mount Misty loves it. It is supposed to be really good for dogs,
something about aiding in digestion or something.
But then, Mount Misty will eat notebook paper and pine cones,
so never mind; SUCCESS anyway.


7
 PRANKING: tried dipping an unnamed family member's hand in the puree as he slept soundly and innocently...hoping he might have an accident....kinda like the warm water thing, eh?
FAIL. Kid never even moved.


I read online that pumpkin can be used as a VARNISH REMOVER. And just happened to have something to experiment on..... what a disappointment. Didn't even mar the surface. FAIL


FACIAL MASK: Yes, I really did this. I put it on my face, and rubbed it in. IT WAS LOVELY. Not kidding. Kinda mildly exfoliating, and very refreshing. My skin feels softer and moister. And not sticky after washing it all off. I highly recommend this option. For real. SUCCESS.


10 
FREAKING OUT YOUR HUSBAND WHO WALKS INTO THE BATHROOM AS HIS INSANE WIFE IS PUTTING PUMPKIN PUREE ON HER FACE AND THE BATHROOM MIRROR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN ORDER TO WRITE THIS STUPID POST FOR HER BLOG THAT NO ONE READS:  SWEET, SWEET SUCCESS

I have to go now. I think I still have some pumpkin in my eyelashes....


3 comments:

Brittanie said...

haha, i read it!! I can only imagine some of these circumstances. Pure hilariousity!

Jess said...

Hey! I read your blog! It cracks me up!

LadyLenore said...

so... i died laughing. DIED. and no one would have ever found my corpse on my bedroom floor because my roommate never gives me a second glance and my boyfriend doesn't have a key to apartment.

Also, i'm assuming pumkin would be useless in removing blood stains from carpet. or dead-body stains in general.