Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A trip to the mall....with Eclair

We went to the mall tonite, Eclair and I. I had a gift card from work (have I ever told you I love my job? I work with wonderful people, and for the most part it is great!) that was burning a hole in my pocket.

Off to the aromatic bath store to spend the card.

I think she said "OOoohh! Smell this, Mommy!" about six thousand times. And often the fragrances were repeats - first smell the bath gel, then the spritz, then the lotion -- all the same flavor, but each apparently unique to my little Eclair.

After I ran out of wrists (I only got the two, you know) I started sampling on my little one. She was more than happy to participate once I explained how some of the bottles (the ones with the special sticker) were samples for trying out, so we weren't shoplifting or anything...

She had a wonderful time, and even picked out a little fragrant hand sanitizer for her backpack. Then it was time to go get Daddy from work.

As soon as he was in the car, she started a travel-log of our evening's adventure, describing all the bottles and flavors and how WONDERFUL it all was. And then she asked daddy to smell her wrists, with the following instructions:

"Well, don't take a really big sniff -- like this (demonstrates with extremely loud snorting noise), because if you do, it smells REALLY BAD!!!

You should sniff very softly, like so you can't even hear the sniff. That way it smells okay."

So glad that we spent so much on perfume that just "smells okay."

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

making plans...

Time for the little girl's birthday party again! What will it be this year? Princesses? Unicorns? Fancy dress-up tea party? Hmmm.... last year Eclair had a wonderful water party for her birthday. The year before it was a Pirate Paaarrrty.

I wonder what she will come up with for this year?

Scroll down and take a gander at the invitation...

Ummmm....yeah. I guess no
this year either.

Monday, August 15, 2011

A day that shall live in infamy...

On the day that Deuce was born (my last post, and he has been named and they ignored ALL my suggestions, if you can possibly believe that!), Eclair was left


Well, not really. Luke Skywalker was left in charge while I was called in to work on my day off because somebody had to go have a baby at the last minute, and Screamapillar had soccer practice, which for all intents and purposes left Eclair


It was a day of much boredom, apparently, because she got up to all kind of mischief. For example, she:

Cut up a banker's box (the expensive ones I acutally BUY instead of getting free from the liquor store) with a steak knife and colored every surface with crayons.

Ate seven frozen corndogs, and left her plate on the curb in front of the neighbor's house for me to discover as I pulled in to the driveway.

Using the sticks from the corndogs, she attempted to make paper stick puppets.

And when that did not end in the result she was seeking,


Because "big socks" like mommy's make better puppets.

School starts a week from today.

But I don't know if I'm going to make it.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A fine day to be born.

This adorable gentleman arrived today, a little early, but large and healthy and happy.

Problem is, my dear friend and her husband have not yet found his NAME. Perhaps you could help?

Here are my suggestions, which I present for consideration:





Khyle (got this one off the phone at work)



and Bill.

Please leave a comment and let the voting begin.

p.s. He has the most beautiful iridescent red hair, by the way:


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Conversations with Eclair

She came to me, howling, tears streaming down her face. Looking like the world was coming to an end RIGHT NOW.

M: What's the matter, honey?


M: Here, let me look at it.
You're okay, it's just your sunburn. It's peeling.


(It was only a matter of time, I suppose.)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How to properly measure stairs

It's time once again for a tutorial. Much needed information that I, the expert in all things, will share with you lowly plebian life forms.

This tutorial is born of a project I have been planning. You see, I have some ugly stairs. They have cheap carpet that desperatly needs replacing. Here's what I have in mind:


Lovely, isn't it? In order to accomplish this, I have to complete the following steps:

1. Rip out the old carpeting

2. Repair any existing damage to steps and risers

3. Paint and/or stain

4. Measure rise and run to determine the amount of runner carpet to install.

5. (Buncha more steps to install carpet that I may discuss in a further tutorial. Today, we measure.)

There a number of ways to accomplish step 4. Most involve complex calculations with the rise and run, number of steps, etc.

The way I'm going to demonstrate is SO much easier!!

Here's what you need:



Measuring tape

Teenager with at least four limbs.



Thank you for tuning in for today's tutorial!

And a special thanks to Screamapillar for the use of her limbs.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

MAWR Part Five: Shall we dance?

I've never really considered a DJ to be a necessary expense at a wedding. Why not just make up a playlist and let it run? Assign the duty of keeping it running to the best man or that cousin who feels left out because he's not the best man or something. Nearly all the weddings I have been to have done pretty much just that.

I now see the error of my opinion.

A good  DJ gets the party started, keeps it rolling, and acts as a sort of "Master of Ceremonies." It's nice to have someone who knows how to hook up his own AV supplies (so the menfolk aren't forever fiddling with the electronics in hope of someday getting some music playing...). It's nice to have a mic for announcing such things as the cake cutting:

and the Bouquet toss:

and the garter removal....

and toss that devolved into fisticuffs:

But a DJ's true purpose is to encourage dancing. And Don Henry of Music, Memories and More

 (who happens to by Diva's BIL) was fantastic. Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me!
Everyone wanted to dance with the bride and groom. They only wanted to dance with each other.

Okay, you might want to look away and scroll down fast. Thing One and Thing Two are going to do the "Elaine Dance."

Eclaire managed to land ANOTHER boyfriend later in the evening. I belive they exchanged email addresses as neither is old enough to have a cell phone.

It's really just too bad that Felicity and El Guapo didn't manage to have any fun...

A very pleasant time was had by all. Anybody know a good DJ in MY area?

P.S. Something is up with Blogger: all my photos are pixelated and look like I'm some rank amatuer. Gotta find a solution to bring the standard back up...