But I'm not, and if you didn't know that already, you might as well click "next blog" now.
I see so many cute things on other people's blogs, and I think to myself, "Self, you're a moderately intelligent human being (at times), you could make that!" And I saw a cute idea for a chore chart. Cute little tile magnets, cute printed paper, And it looked like the glue-gun-impaired part of me might be able to manage it. Until I started pricing out all the parts & pieces required to make it.
We'll get right on that one, $45 chore chart.
The reason I need a chore chart is because I have five children. And because I have five children, I can't afford a $45 chore chart. If I had $45 sitting around un-earmarked to fees & expenses, I'd be sitting at Cold Stone eating "German Chocolate Cake" right now. Forty five dollars worth of "German Chocolate Cake" mind you.
So I have improvised. What will a magnet stick to other than a $12 sheet of galvanized steel custom cut to fit your pretty little specialty item $8 router-cut board?
A COOKIE SHEET. You know, I think I just might have 47 million of those.
And do I need to order my little glass tiles from Etsy at $10 for ten tiles, plus shipping? Wait! Got 30 at Lowe's for $2.24 (cool clear sea glass with little bubbles!!!!). I could have got the $.84 clearance ones, because we all know what a big spender I am, but those weren't as cute as these. They were ugly for all their budgetary cheapness, and I have standards, you know!
(PHOTO OF TILES HAS MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED....)
Scrapbook paper backgrounds for each person's assignments. Yeah, right again. I'm a freakin' photographer, right? So let's print some photos instead of using scrapbook paper! Then no one can say "I didn't know which chores were mine!" Lets pick really embarrassing photos: Thing One wearing the "Bridesmaid from the Black Lagoon" dress, for example. The dress with the slug sleeves. Yeah. This is getting better and better!!!!Here's the step by step on how this amazing feat was accomplished:
1. Cookie sheet is ugly. Scrub with steel wool. For what seems like hours. Still ugly. Use Modge Podge to cover ugliness with sheet of white tissue paper. Moderately better.
2. Size photos of children and print to fit back of cookie sheet so it looks like there was SOME thought and effort that went into this..... dimensions for mine called for 5x5 photo prints, made in PhotoShop Elements.
3. Print photos trying not to think of how color printer ink costs more per ounce than gold. Cut out and Modge Podge to back of cookie sheet.
4. Create list and find matching pictures for chore tiles. Look for really difficult jobs for the kids that annoy you, and easy ones for your favorite child (Quit denying it, everyone has a favorite).
5. Print to fit tiles (mine were 1", so pics a bit smaller) trying once again not to think of how color printer ink costs more than gold. Mod Podge to tiles and allow to dry.
6. Using SUPER AMAZING E6000 glue, VERY CAREFULLY glue the magnets to the back of the tiles. Don't put them too close to each other or they will pull each other's magnets off. Seriously. And don't get in the way if the magnets decide to fly toward their apparent life partner 12 inches away -- or thanks to E6000 glue, YOU will be the magnet's life partner.
7. Nail your finished project to the wall and proclaim for all to hear: "HERE ARE YOUR CHORES! DO THEM OR DIE!!!!!!"
8. Giggle and laugh with your husband at the childrens plight while coming up with amusing titles for the "Chore Chart." Like, "Activities Options List" and "Servitude Scheduling" or, as I have titled this post "Anti-Boredom Device."
And here is the finished product for your consideration.
(Note the extra "Brownie Points" for insane people who might be looking for more work to do.)
Now go make a servitude schedule for your own children, before they start to think that you love them or something.
(update on this post).