Saturday, December 31, 2011

The annual epistle of exaggeration and outright falsehoods - 2012 - A top Ten

I've been meaning to post this all week, but life has just gotten in the way. Christmas was fantastic. We had a great time.

And if we ever get our cards out this year they're going to look like this:

And instead of the annual letter, you'd see this:


10. Thing One got to quit her awful job where they treated her like a deranged hobo, and got a really fantastic job making more money doing what she completely loves to do. She got to go to New York and sing at the Lincoln Center (sorry, Carnegie was closed) with her wonderful choir. She also got a sweet Boyfriend who makes her smile a lot, and she ran away to Mexico to have Christmas with his family because she doesn't love us.

9. Thing Two moved out and then moved back in again. He has learned to appreciate the simple things in life, like not running out of toilet paper because everyone thinks it is someone else's turn to buy it, or eating food that might actually have nutrients and vitamins in it. He has an adorable, lovely, beautiful girlfriend who we don't get to see nearly enough, I think that maybe he is worried that we will somehow reveal to her that he is a dork and she deserves better. We are hoping to have the boy out the door on his mission VERY SOON. Right, boy?

8. Screamapillar continues to kick people in the shins with her cleats and sing in the choir. She likes boys and boys like her. She continues also to be awkward around the boys, which makes for much hilarity. She got to go to Phoenix to visit her grandma, and to Las Vegas on choir tour even though we tried to stop her. She also continues to set world records in texting.

7. Luke Skywalker is still attending Provo High as an 8th grader, solely to annoy his bigger sister. He has finally decided to grow, and is getting taller faster than I can let the hems out of his pants. He has started to raid his older brother's wardrobe in his search for sleeves that are long enough. He has decided to be a scientist someday, in hopes of blowing things up like the Mythbusters.

6. Eclair has taken her chatterbox skills to a new level, taking every opportunity to talk the ears off strangers and friends alike. If you're her facebook friend, beware of chat. If you have a cell phone, make sure I don't have your number or she will text you incessantly. Funny thing though, EVERYONE loves her anyway.

5. Hubby has broken out of his shell and started coming out of his hobbit-hole office into the sunlight to make a few trips. He supervised Screamapillar's trip to Phoenix, and made a solo trip to Baja California where he did not die of anything as expected, including dinosaurs. His shoes were the only casualty of the trip, suprisingly enough. He has a few more trips planned, and as long as he keeps remembering to bring me presents all will be well.

4. I have spent the year sitting around playing Farmville, while simultaneously editing photos. I got to do a lot of fun photos for mostly attractive people (you ugly ones know who you are). Thing One got me the newest version of Photoshop for Christmas, so now this old dog has to learn new tricks.

3. The animals continue well. Misty (our giant yellow lab) got a new dog door, and likes to go in and out and in and out and in and out just to show you that she can. It has helped with her arthritis tons. Muffin and Gus still hate one another. While Muffin has retained her girlish figure, Gus is striving to outweigh Misty, and is juuuuusst about there.

2. We went to California for El Guapo and Felicity's wedding. It was so completely awesome that I am going to make one of my grils get married in 2012 just so I can throw an awesome wedding reception myself (I think Eclair already has a few prospects rounded up - they would just have to have their mother's permission to propose).

1. We made too many trips to the ER, went to too many funerals, drove too many miles, and ate too much food, and were blessed far more than we deserve. We didn't spend enough time cleaning the house, visiting family, and having a good time (because you can never have too much of those).

Hope 2011 was good to you, and that 2012 is even more awesome.

1 comment:

Cindy Jenkins {Jenkins Kid Farm} said...

Soooo, I pretty much love you FOREVER! I loved the recap on your family's 2011! You rock, sister!