Monday, January 9, 2012

Food-making skillz

Tonite I went on strike. I made food only for those who could not be reasonably expected to feed themselves, Eclair and Luke Skywalker. The son of Vader can cook, but he had a ton of homework, so I took pity on him and made mac and cheese. Outta a box.

Yeah, I got mad skillz.

There was outrage from other, less helpless people who live in my house. They all can feed themselves, but are lazy. Oh, so lazy. At 22, 19, and 16 I have no sympathy. Thing Two had the wonderful idea to make calzones after I screamed for the 40 time "I AM NOT GOING OUT TO BUY PIZZA!!!"

He managed to put together all the ingredients himself, even if he cheated by thawing sauce from the freezer. His sisters got wind of the idea and started hanging around, I think they had some kind of stupid idea that he would make food for them, too. He thawed and rolled out dough, filled it with sauce and cheese, folded it over and pressed it shut.

The whole time he is slaving over pizza dough, Screamapillar is standing beside him critiquing his work. "That's not how you do it!" and "You're using too much sauce!" and "Not enough cheese!" I think that for someone looking for a free meal, she was doing a poor job of deserving one. He was ready to take the rolling pin to her head by the time he was done. And then she asked when was he making hers?

I'm sure you can guess the answer to that question.

As Thing Two's calzones were cooking and filling the kitchen with a wonderful aroma, the girls took matters into their own hands. They were forced to cook for themselves.

Now, I might mention now, that Thing Two's calzones were near perfection in both shape and composition. He's picky like that.

Here is what the Screamapillar produced:

If you guessed the atrocity on the right, you would be correct. Her older brother laughed aloud and mocked her messy pile of dough and sauce with it's assorted fork-markings most heartily, and said, "SERIOUSLY?"

All she had to say for herself was:

"All I know is that
were doing it
NEVER said
knew how to do it

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