A contrast...

This is Muffin. Sweet, mature, wonderful cat. Rarely uses the catbox (because she's using the neighbor's yard - we don't like them anyway) and eats like a bird (also eats birds, and snakes for that matter). She is graceful, slightly playful, and her only vice is that she likes to lick the butter (put the lid back on!).

Her mother was a Siamese, her father an orange tabby cat. Why she is a grey tabby cat, I have no idea, it defies the laws of nature. She also has short hair, and rarely sheds.

My wonderful neighbor (not the one whose yard she uses for a catbox) said to me once, "I don't know if I love that cat, or hate that cat. She DID kill all the snakes that lived under my front porch, but she also taunts my dog by standing 5 feet beyond her reach when she is leashed in the backard."

This is the new cat, Asparagus. Don't let this photo fool you.

This is the real Asparagus.

His is an unknown heritage, we adopted him as a VERY YOUNG kitten found in a parking lot.

He stalks anything that moves, and many things that don't. He is as likely to sit on your head as your lap. He likes to awaken people by suffocating them or licking their hair. He uses the litterbox so much that it needs to be cleaned twice a day. He eats his weight in cat food twice a day (thus the litter box use, I suppose).

He scratches the couches, eats anything that is not stored in the refrigerator, and has been seen recently climbing the shelves of the kitchen hutch in an effort to slay the Immortal Fish who live there. He sheds buckets of hair daily, and only seems to be getting fluffier by the hour.

If for some insane reason you would be looking for him on purpose, just look down: he is probably wrapped around your ankles about to trip you.

But alas, Asparagus LOVES ECLAIR, while Muffin despises her. It is his only redeeming factor.

So Gus stays.