Something sweet

Been getting a little crafty in anticipation of Valentine's day....back to making more earrings. I saw a cute craft on Modge Podge Rocks' blog, and tried to do it myself.

So very cute, but a little tricky.  Have you ever tried to drill a hole the size of a needle in a very small piece of candy while holding it in your hand? Not as easy as it might first appear.

Thank goodness for Dremel drill bits and a variable speed drill. You'll need two bags of conversation hearts for this, by the way. That way you can eat one bag while you attempt to drill holes in the other. The first four came out perfect, then I guess I got a little cocky thinkin' I had a handle on it and it was simple, so I tried to go a bit faster.

Don't do it. Go slow and steady, not too much pressure. Otherwise you have a pile of broken conversation hearts instead of nicely drilled ones.

Had to change her instructions a bit though. Couldn't use the Modge Podge because it erased the food coloring "ink" and the words disappeared altogether. SO...I did what any insane person would do to an edible item they would like to wear, and I sprayed them with clear spray paint instead.

THESE ARE NO LONGER EDIBLE! 

While Modge Podge isn't anywhere on my menu, it is non-toxic. Spray paint cannot possibly be good for you, so don't let little people eat these, please.

And then, as I'm sitting there slowly drilling tiny holes into these little hearts, it starts to occur to me: man, these messages are pretty lame. Seriously lame. If I were in charge they would have MUCH more exciting messages, like: 

"You're the most wonderful person I've ever known!"

"Send the writer of this blog $1000!"

"You should be eating chocolate instead!"

Or my favorite:

"Your pants are on fire!"

AND THEN I HAD AN IDEA........

There have been murmurings in my house about a certain couple....comments overheard.....Pinterest boards containing WAY too many pins hinting at a summer wedding.....

Yeah. Those two on the left. Her on the right? I have no hope. Let's just say that EVERYONE in the family has been instructed to be VERY VERY nice to any boy who seems to be interested in her so that someday we can find a gullible husband for her...

But those two on the left, they need to get in gear and make it official so I can start making some REAL plans instead of just imaginary Pinterest ones. To speed the process along, I made  thing one her OWN VERY SPECIAL PAIR OF VALENTINE'S EARRINGS!!!

YAY!!! BIG enough hint, Boyfriend? (does he even read this blog?) And then Thing One refused to wear them. She likes Boyfriend too much to scare him off, I think.

But it's okay, One of the awesome girls at work snatched them right up, apparently she has a plan of her own that they might assist in implementing...

Anyway! I've made up tons of these for Screamapillar to sell to her little friends to assist in her continuing quest to pay for choir tour. If you'd be interested in a pair, send me a FB note.

I'll keep you posted on any pending announcements...........hopefully soon.

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mold.

I found a spot of mold this morning. On Eclair's toast. It was a tiny little spot, on the crust at the top corner. As we were short on time, I just tore that entire side off that piece of toast, closely inspected both slices to be sure there was none I had missed, and buttered it for my lovely daughter.

E: Are you sure that it's okay?

M: Yep. You won't be eating any mold. It wouldn't kill you, anyway. Actually, some medicines have originated from mold.

E: OH YEAH!! I read about that. There's a guy who regrows body parts with mold.

****loud gagging noise from across the room where daddy is choking on his toast, Thing One is standing by his side with her hand over her mouth, eyes incredulous.****

M: Really......where did you hear about that?

E: From school. My Read 180 tells about it. There's this guy, and he's a doctor. And he makes new body parts for people who don't have any.

Holy crap, she's right: 

(But I didn't hear anything about using mold to do this.)

Amazing, truly amazing.

So, should I save the piece of moldy toast?

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Attending the Cinema

I hate going to the movies. Seriously. Don't get me wrong, I love movies. I just hate going out and sitting with the dim-witted, ill mannered sweating masses in a theater.

There always seems to be some sort of ...incident.....for example:

Once upon a time I had to shoot a wedding for a friend in Logan, Utah, many hours from my home. We went as a family, because it was also the kick-off to a huge family vacation that we had been planning. While I was taking photos (boring for everyone except the bride and groom), Hubby took the kiddos to go see the newest Disney release (on it's opening weekend, generally a big mistake).

They arrived in plenty of time to get seats together, and since there was still time, Things One and Two decided to go explore the restrooms. When they returned, they found their seats occupied and decided to sit elsewhere.

A young woman and her caretaker had taken the seats. When they first sat down, my husband told them that the seats were taken. The young woman (who we will hereafter call Wilma) was obviously handicapped in some fashion, and her caretaker (hereafter known as Betty), couldn't get her to budge. Wilma didn't care whose seats they were, she was there to see WallE and no one was going to move her.

No big deal since Things One and Two were 18 and 16 years old, and sitting on their own was not a problem. This left seating thus: Betty in the aisle seat, then Wilma, Eclair, Hubby, Screamapillar and Luke Skywalker.

Apparently the movie was not entertainment enough for Wilma. She brought a toy with her to occupy her time, and enrich the moviegoing experience for everyone in a three foot radius. First she extracted a shoelace from her pocket. She then inserted the entire shoelace in her mouth and chewed on it for a while.

The shoelace came out of her mouth again, this time with a plan of action.

She firmly grasped the shoelace with the thumb and forefinger of her left hand, and began to swing it over her head, lasoo fashion. It was just long enough to nick Eclair in the head with every revolution. Eclair was quite alarmed by this, and decided that she wasn't too big to sit in her dad's lap for the entire movie after all.

Wilma apparently noticed that the seat next to her was vacant. So she let the shoelace lengthen a bit, until it was just long enough to now nick Hubby in the head with every revolution. Appeals to Wilma and Betty both were pointless. Wilma wanted to watch the movie with her spittle coated lasoo swinging overhead, and there was no way to stop her.

Hubby and Eclair spent the duration of the movie leaning as far to the side as possible, practically watching the movie sideways, in order to avoid the liquid shrapnel.

A good time was had by all. And, man, was I glad I wasn't there. Because I don't do well in crowded theaters surrounded by idiots. Hubby is FAR more patient than I.

I'll have to tell you about going to see the last Harry Potter movie and it's attending incidents later. Because I'm deeply engrossed in a huge project I gotta go finish, which I shall blog about later also....
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Doorknobs

How many of you have ever used a doorknob in your life?

Silly question. I'll rephrase.

How many of you have NOT used a doorknob before? On a door that's supposed to have one. Probably a few less.

Mom is in the midst of painting. She has been 'painting,' since before I left for Mexico with Boyfriend [who still needs a blog name]. Keep in mind...that was before Christmas. "GOSH MOM, YOU'VE BEEN PAINTING SINCE LAST YEAR!" Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Anywho. Mom's current painting project has been the doors. Because doors are grubby and not quite so white anymore. And because mom thinks we don't have enough newspaper, she's removed all the doorknobs from the doors.

The past few weeks have gone something akin to this.

Its absurd, really how much you can take something as simple as a doorknob for granted.

Ever tried to open a door like this?

Yes, the actual knob part goes on the INSIDE, but when you have to get in? Well that's a bit of a challenge now, isn't it? And even on the side with a knob...that's even MORE troubling. Try pulling open a door when the knob comes out in your hand. You get places really fast.

Despite our pleas, we only JUST got the doorknob back for the bathroom. Two bedrooms and a closet still have no knobs. Some of us have voiced our desires to Facebook, in hopes that mother might see them in between playing her myriad of farming/harvesting/I-Should-Have-Never-Introduced-Her-To-FB games.

Desperation has reached a peak. Eclair tried to solve the problem. This is her solution.

Yes, those are Q-Tips. And...I really think nothing more needs to be said on this matter.

Food-making skillz

Tonite I went on strike. I made food only for those who could not be reasonably expected to feed themselves, Eclair and Luke Skywalker. The son of Vader can cook, but he had a ton of homework, so I took pity on him and made mac and cheese. Outta a box.

Yeah, I got mad skillz.

There was outrage from other, less helpless people who live in my house. They all can feed themselves, but are lazy. Oh, so lazy. At 22, 19, and 16 I have no sympathy. Thing Two had the wonderful idea to make calzones after I screamed for the 40 time "I AM NOT GOING OUT TO BUY PIZZA!!!"

He managed to put together all the ingredients himself, even if he cheated by thawing sauce from the freezer. His sisters got wind of the idea and started hanging around, I think they had some kind of stupid idea that he would make food for them, too. He thawed and rolled out dough, filled it with sauce and cheese, folded it over and pressed it shut.

The whole time he is slaving over pizza dough, Screamapillar is standing beside him critiquing his work. "That's not how you do it!" and "You're using too much sauce!" and "Not enough cheese!" I think that for someone looking for a free meal, she was doing a poor job of deserving one. He was ready to take the rolling pin to her head by the time he was done. And then she asked when was he making hers?

I'm sure you can guess the answer to that question.

As Thing Two's calzones were cooking and filling the kitchen with a wonderful aroma, the girls took matters into their own hands. They were forced to cook for themselves.

Now, I might mention now, that Thing Two's calzones were near perfection in both shape and composition. He's picky like that.

Here is what the Screamapillar produced:

If you guessed the atrocity on the right, you would be correct. Her older brother laughed aloud and mocked her messy pile of dough and sauce with it's assorted fork-markings most heartily, and said, "SERIOUSLY?"

All she had to say for herself was:

"All I know is that

 YOU

were doing it

WRONG.

 I

NEVER said

 I

knew how to do it

MYSELF!"

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Two things and a random photo

Two odd phrases heard around the house today:

"Well I just need to lose some more teeth!" -Eclair, trying to earn money to do after-school karate.

"Hey! Somebody ran off with the bathroom doorknob!" -Thing Two, who hasn't been helping with the painting at all.

And here's your random amusing photo I took in an elevator at the hospital:

At first glance, not so funny. But you need to take a closer look:

 Hadn't been worried about running into zombies in a hospital elevator before.

Now I'm terrified.

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Arise and Shine Forth

We got to be part of a wonderful, unique experience last night. We joined the youth of five stakes at our stake center at the end of their New Year's Eve celebration.

The theme for the coming year is "Arise and Shine Forth," challenging our youth to let others see the light of Christ in their countenance. A worthy goal, indeed.

To kick it off, at midnight the kids were able to send off floating lanterns. Here's a few photos:

Out of focus Screamapillar

Eclair and Luke Skywalker

In focus, but too dark, dear Screamapillar

Hubby enjoys the perks of being a chaperone

Lots of wonderful youth

over 150 lanterns went up

and here's a fun video:

Happy New Year, everyone. May the coming year bring the light of Christ to you.

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