Chicks Rule.

Top Ten Things I Love About Women's Conference:

10. SPRING!!!!

They have Women's Conference when the evil drudgery of winter is over, and it is now BEAUTIFUL SPRING!

9. My big sister always comes for Women's Conference. She usually spends the entire time driving me crazy with "I'll be there in 15 minutes" (and then she never is). Word to the wise: when waiting for Debbie, bring a crossword puzzle, or a good book. And snacks.

(this out of focus picture was taken by some strange woman who doesn't know how to operate a real camera, even after I gave her instructions. Thank you, ma'am.)

8. Great speakers. I even know this one! This is Sandy. She is amazing. And she likes to ride motorcycles.

7. Lines at WC (not Water Closet, Women's Conference! I'm just tired of typing it out, okay?) are epic. You will not see lines like this anywhere else. In the photo below, I am about 15 feet downstream of the door to the room these women are lined up for. Many didn't get in and had to go stand in another line to go to another room. Lines all day, everywhere. They convert 80% of the men's restrooms into ladies restrooms to help manage the lines. Not too many seats in a men's room, by the way. The only time I ever saw a riot in the line was when they ran out of fudge.

6. 14,000 women attended WC this year. That's 2000 less than the amount of text messages Middle Daughter made last month. Just sayin'. My estimate is that these women will consume 31 tons of fudge and 47,379 BYU brownies.

5. Did I mention that it wasn't freezing because it was SPRING?

4. Bonnie spoke at WC this year, too. "There is No One Way to Be a Perfect Mother." Click on that, and it will take you to Mormon Times where she was in the NEWSPAPER!!!!!! SHE'S FAMOUS!!!! She wasn't happy how she was misquoted & all, but hey, who cares when YOU'RE FAMOUS!!! This is Bonnie with most of her cheering squad (part of it is behind the camera, you know).

3. My Favorite, maybe, and a reason, perhaps why you should go to WC: I wasn't speaking this year.

Good speakers were instead (like Bonnie). When it was my turn three years ago, I was so nervous that I ate nothing but caramel Ho-ho's for eight weeks beforehand. I had never eaten one before and have never eaten one since. I was a sweating, shaking wreck for the two whole days of WC. Bonnie sat behind me on the podium in case I passed out, so she could make sure it was as embarrasing as possible. Thank you Bonnie!

2. No matter what you wear to WC, someone else will be wearing something so incredibly stupid that you will look like a high paid model by comparison:

Take a gander at that homemade attempt at one of those little crocheted headbands that all the middle school girls are wearing. Lovely (NOT).

First of all, she's over thirty. Second, it looks like it is consuming her entire head. Third, the flower is bigger than the palm of my hand and looks very little like a flower at all. Fourth, do you think she deliberately picked out yarn the color of wallpaper paste?
Hmmm. What do you think?

1.!!!!!! CHICKEN CEASER WRAP!!!!!!!!

Um. I have to go now, and make one of these at home. I'm suddenly VERY hungry.
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