Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Maim Karen Month

SO, I am clumsy as dirt. If that doesn't make sense to you, think of it this way: Dirt is always on the ground. BUT despite being clumsy, I very rarely actually INJURE myself. But this month appears to be out to get me, so here's a tally of what we've got so far, and when they occurred, if I can recall)

•Cat scratches up and down arms {Last week}
•Raw fingertips (cracked, small cuts, peeling [re, dry skin? Except my skin isn't dry...?]) {Past five days}
•Smashed pinky toe (Explanation: I have mutant baby pinky toes. I'm convinced my little toes are missing a joint, because they're only 1 cm long when the rest of my toes are normal sized. These small toes are remarkably easy to smash on corners and poles and other objects. And they make it impossible to wear toe socks...) {EVERY FREAKING DAY}
•Bruised knees (not sure how I got those...) {A week ago?}
•Scratched up ear (courtesy of Gus [one of my cats] attacking my hair) {3 AM yesterday}
•Shaving nick on ankle {Sunday}
•Five inch bruise on thigh from banging into chair while cleaning theater {Last night}
•2 mm round second degree burn from popcorn kernel flying out of popper and down my shirt [landing on my necklace for a few moments], and another on my stomach from when it fell further down my shirt {Saturday}
•Twisted ankle from missing a step going down stairs while cleaning theater {last night}
•Bump on head from hitting open cupboard in kitchen {Week and a half ago}
•Welt on eye from smacking self with hardcover book {First week of the month}
•Sore tailbone from slipping while walking to bus-stop {Last week's snowstorm}
•Got jabbed in the boob too...but that happened on the first of this month and I really can't remember how, but it still hurts.
•Stepped on thumbtack {Early this month}
•Rolled over foot with swivel chair {Two weeks ago}
•Pulled muscle in neck while laying on floor {Week and a half?}

Now that I've whined, here's a quick fun story. Sunday night, somebody's car was robbed out in the parking lot, but the culprit left behind their movie ticket stub receipt, which they had paid for with a credit card. Guess who's gonna get caught when corporate calls the PD with their info? :D

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