Tonight, My dear friend (We shall call her Jack Sparrow) came over with her copy of "Ponyo," the latest Mayazaki film. For those of you who do not know, it's an anime-style movie very loosely based on "The Little Mermaid."
As some background, Mother does not understand Mayazaki films. She has always fails to grasp that they do not make sense to American viewers due to cultural differences. Today, Jack opted to have us watch it in Japanese with English subtitles, due to annoying American voice actors. Mother, for Eclair's sake, offered to read the subtitles, which slowly turned into her interpretation of what was happening.
Hilarity ensued. I share now the best excerpts from the night..
(misreading [with much conviction] subtitles that say "I'll fix that next")
"I'll fix that newt!"
(Ponyo's sisters are chewing on her bubble to release her)
"We are going to eat you! You are going to die! WE ARE LEECHES! *sucking noise*"
"The crab barrier is loose!"
"Chicken leg! Chicken Leg! Chicken legs for hands!"
"We are losing cabin pressure! OH NO! The crab barrier is loose! She's escaping!"
"Help! There's a carp in the living room!"
"Oh look, it's a natural disaster, let's use the gas stove, BOOM!"
"Oh no, there's crabs going in the house! The crab barrier has FAILED."
"Large Marge fish!"
"She's got diaper poisoning."
(this one is Dad's contribution)
"If you have any fruit, you must get rid of it before you cross the border."
She also likened Ponyo's army of sisters to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Mom is so fun to watch movies with. :)