Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Abandon all hope ye who enter here

My bathroom has a problem.

When we moved in, the bathroom lock worked so well that sometimes you couldn't leave the bathroom. I tried in vain to repair it, then replaced it instead. With a shiny, pretty new silver doorknob with privacy lock.

The new one has the opposite problem. Oh, it will look like it is locked. And if you are on the inside, it is not easy to turn the knob.

But if you are on the outside, there is no resistance at all. You could walk in on anybody.

Surprise!

Kinda like putting the one-way glass in backwards or somethin'.

We have had a lot of house guests lately, and I grow weary of verbalizing the warning to each guest "Knock first, and never assume you have any privacy whatsoever."

Here is my solution (it is cheaper and funnier than buying another doorknob - yeah, I know, I'm cheap):

1. Retrieve 5x7 frame from box o'frames under my baby grand.

2. Spend ten full minutes removing dust.

3. Take out to the back lawn and spray paint it PINK (wouldn't want anyone to miss it, would we?)

4. Keep the dog from licking the wet paint when Luke Skywalker lets her out of the kennel by accident.

5. When it dries, compose verse, print, insert in frame and hang.

6. Take a picture for the blog.

And thar she blows, mateys:



The Bathroom
A poem by Mommy

Once there was a potty
that had a creamy door
With slippers, clothes and bath toys
strewn across the floor.
As if it wasn't hard enough
to navigate this mess
we added a new challenge
in error, I confess.

The portal that you enter
is not at all secure
you may think that you have locked it
but of this you can't be sure.
So, please, before you enter
knock once, or twice at least.
So some poor soul before you
can hope for a little peace.

Don't say we didn't warn you
it's the least that we could do.
Beware the broken doorknob
Before you're it's victim, too.

Thanks for tuning in, folks. Hope it was worth the two minutes of your time.

P.S. I wonder how long the duct tape will hold?





2 comments:

Amanda@The Hand Me Down House said...

Haha! Julie you crack me up!! my inlaws have the infamous "unlockable" door...and it makes for interesting family get-togethers! :)

Ellie said...

You are so funny! What a great solution!