Friday, February 18, 2011

I shouldn't have said that...

Do you ever say stupid stuff? Unfortunately I do all the time. Makes me wish for a time machine so I could go back in time and stuff a sock in my own mouth.

Once Upon A Time....

...there was Thing One. She was four years old during this particular Once Upon A Time, and Mom (me) was preparing a turkey for dinner.

"What is that thing you are making?" says my sweet innocent girl.

"It's a turkey. We're going to put it in the oven to cook it, and then we'll eat it. It's like the kind of meat I get for sandwiches from the deli."

She looks askance at me, as though I were insane or something.

"It's a turkey."
(I prop the bird up in the pan so it's sitting on it's tail.)

"These were his wings,"
(extend and flap stubby puckered wings)

"these were his legs,"
(cause turkey to dance on said legs)

"and here's where they cut his head off."
(lift up giant flap of skin and show the hole where his
spinal column abruptly ends.)

Picture: bulging eyes, hands over her mouth,
a look of terror as she takes this in.

Needless to say, she declined her portion
when it came time to eat the bird.

The child became a vegetarian for the next two years.

Anytime she was presented with meat she would ask:
"What was it before you killed it?"

So in case you were wondering, yes, I am an idiot.

1 comment:

Steverino said...

When Elise was that age, she would ask me, "did it have Eyes?" In an attempt at good nutrition, I would lie, of course, and say no.